What is respect?

Jean Willy Alcide Jean Willy Alcide 97 Comments Reading: 7 min

   

Respect often seems to be a meaningful and powerful word. We affirm that we want others to treat us with respect and dislike when others show us disrespect. But what is the real meaning of this word?
The word respect has several definitions – feel free to consult it if you want – but in the context of other beliefs, the most basic and appropriate definition is to have “due consideration” for the beliefs of the other person.
What does that mean?
Proper consideration means paying attention to another person’s beliefs. To consider something is to look at it. The Latin origin of the word respect also means “look back.” Respect is just observation. To respect a belief is to observe it – to recognize its existence.
Therefore, the word respect is not very important. This really means just looking at another person’s beliefs. You do not have to like these beliefs. You may even think they are idiots. But you can still respect one’s beliefs by merely acknowledging that such beliefs exist. What a very low bar, would not you say?
Disrespect
And the other side?
Curiously, the word disrespect is not just the opposite of respect. Disregard packages with more force.
Disrespecting one’s beliefs may mean ignoring these beliefs altogether, but more commonly, it means lack of courtesy – that is, lack of education. Being impolite means not showing good manners. And manners are social expectations.
So if you violate other people’s expectations of how they believe you should behave with them, it is considered disrespectful.
The opposite of disrespect is often what is transplanted to complement the weaker definition of respect.
Consequently, the common meaning of respect is to behave. If you violate others’ expectations in certain ways then you are being disrespectful. If you behave the way you should behave then you are being respectful.
So it’s actually a form of obedience. Does not that make sense on the way? Are not the most obedient people usually considered the most respectful? And is not disobedience labeled disrespectful?
Eyes of the beholder
Respect is much more of an “eye of the beholder” concept. What one person respected could be interpreted as disrespectful by another and vice versa. So if someone behaves, you must believe that people should behave, this is a demonstration of respect. If someone violates your expectations in ways you do not like, you may interpret this as a sign of disrespect. And from your perspective, you will always be right.
By these definitions, I could label myself as highly respectable or highly disrespectful. On the one hand, I definitely pay attention to other people’s beliefs. I certainly do not know how others think, feel and behave. I like to delve into one’s beliefs when I’m meeting them. In that sense, I am very respectful. I consciously notice.
On the other hand, I often violate other people’s expectations of how I should behave. I do not feel compelled to follow social norms. This is often deliberate. I acknowledge the expected behaviors, and I consciously choose not to adhere to them. For many people this is a very disrespectful thing.
A person can love that I like to be honest and direct and can give me great consideration for it. Someone else may realize that I am impolite for the same behavior. Within their own paintings, both would be right.
Relative Relativity
Because the definitions of respect and disrespect are personal, I will share a personal example for you.
I think it is wrong to force the impregnation, the cage and the slaughter of animals. So if someone supports this system, they are automatically disrespecting my beliefs. Note that I do not feel the same about people who hunt animals for food to survive in nature. Although I do not say this, I do not automatically consider that these people disrespect my beliefs or disrespect the animals. But to support modern industrial agriculture, there’s no way around it – it’s about how disrespectful a person can get. It is disrespectful to animals. It is disrespectful to the environment. And personally disrespectful of my beliefs. This behavior goes far beyond being impolite and impolite.
When a meat eater tells me that he respects my beliefs, from their perspective, he may also be right. They may require nothing more to satisfy that definition than to note that I am vegan, which is quite easy to do. But at the same time, they also qualify for my definition of disrespect

If someone who likes to kill a person’s pets decides to refrain from killing any pet in front of you as a show of respect for their beliefs, would you give that person credit for his politeness and courtesy? Maybe you would … I do not know. I would be more concerned about what they are doing to pets – in this regard, it is inconsequential whether or not they are committing such violent acts in my presence.
Now would a meat eater determine that what I just shared is a sign of disrespect to them? That depends on the person. I’m sure many would consider me disrespectful. They may determine that I am not behaving as they believe I should behave. Perhaps from your point of view I can not say that I consider supporting industrial agriculture a demonstration of disrespect to my beliefs. How could I say something like that? It’s not just impolite and impolite … it’s rude!
So again, I’m sharing my honest thoughts and feelings on my own site and on social media pages. I will not post this anywhere else, though other people are free to share it again. It’s not like I’m stalking someone and pushing these ideas to them. People have to look for me and choose to get involved with me. The meat eaters who may have trouble with this are always coming to me.
I see honesty as one of the highest forms of respect. I feel that I am much more respecting people for being as honest and open as I can by sharing my personal growth path. I think it would be disrespectful to pretend to be someone I am not, to present a false image of myself, even though it is more socially acceptable.
Can I still respect someone who I feel is disrespect to my beliefs? I do not see why not. I have many readers to expect them to respect my beliefs. I find it unrealistic to expect everyone to follow my ethical standards. Having said that, I think it would be very untrue to pretend to feel that my beliefs are being respected by those who think it is good to support rape, confinement and slaughter of animals. What does it matter if they are doing this in front of me or not?
Is it automatically a show of disrespect to tell someone that you feel disrespected by them? I think not. I think it can be a powerful show of respect to do this. I do not feel that my meat-eating friends show any respect for my beliefs when they willingly support a system that is incredibly unethical, corrupt, and harmful in my opinion. I do not feel like I’m being disrespectful to them by saying that. Actually, I think I’m being very respectful. I honor them enough to share my truth with them.
And again, this is not imposed on anyone. I share this only with those who voluntarily choose to get involved with my work. I do not chase anybody and push those ideas to them. I’m not a hunter.
I know that many meat eaters consider this a demonstration of respect for decreasing meat consumption in the presence of vegetarians or vegans. I’m sure some vegans appreciate that. Personally, it makes little difference to me in terms of feeling respected – it’s a drop in the bucket if I know they’ll support the factory farming when I’m not around. I would actually consider it more honest if they did not make such adjustments on my behalf. If they really feel like sharing a vegan meal together, great. But if they prefer animal products and are diminishing the behavior of carnivores because they want to respect my beliefs, I do not give them any significant credit for that. That does not make me feel more respected.
Having said that, I really prefer when meat eaters do not eat meat in front of me, but that’s because I find the sight and smell of rotten meat disgusting – especially the smell of dead fish. So I’m going to give you some courtesy credit for not making me sick.
What does respect mean to you? What would you consider disrespectful? Do you believe that telling someone that you feel disrespected is necessarily a sign of disrespect? Or could such honesty be a deeper demonstration of respect, perhaps even an invitation to connect on a whole new level?
You, of course, have the freedom to make your own determinations about which behaviors you consider to be respectful vs. disrespectful. And whatever you decide, you’re right.

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About the Author

Jean Willy Alcide
Jean Willy Alcide

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